Monday, June 8, 2009

How to Build Self Confidence

Share |

How to Build Self Confidence


from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.

Steps


  1. Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.
  2. Don't view yourself as inferior to others. Don't walk around with the subconscious mindset that others are better or more qualified than you, whether it's related to work, school, or just socializing. To a certain degree, it's good to walk around with a feeling of superiority. However, don't take this too far, or you'll come across as a jerk.
  3. Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.
  4. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
  5. Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
  6. Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
  7. Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
  8. Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).
  9. Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
  10. Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel
  11. Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.
  12. Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.
  13. Don't Care What Other People Think You shouldn't care about what other people will think or are going to think because what's important is that you are fine with yourself and if you're fine with yourself, others will be fine with you!
  14. Remember If someone insults you and puts you down, just remember,that they are not perfect either.


Video


Watch this video to learn a few crucial steps towards building your confidence.

Tips


  • Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
  • When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.
  • Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.
  • Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!
  • Take a wilderness experience course such as those found at Outward Bound or NOLS. Learning how to survive in the wilderness will build your confidence in other areas of life too. You can also try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.
  • Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.
  • Everyone is beautiful in their own way; don't let anyone tell you differently. Remember to tell yourself that you are beautiful every day; even if you don't believe it, one day you will.
  • Money, luck, beauty, and all other material things are just an illusion of happiness. It misleads us to believe we will feel excellent if we have these things or have fun, but in the long run, you will discover that while these things aren't necessarily horrible, they are only mere satisfactions. You will realize having the American Eagle jacket, Nike Shoes, or an attractively rich person flirting with you is only a satisfaction, so you in the end you might feel glad you've gotten what you wanted, but you'll want more and more until you reach happiness. It'll be you just running for happiness blindly until you are worn out.
  • Happiness is not all about being lucky, attractive, or the best, but rather feeling joyful in yourself, letting go of your insecurities, and having real fun. Sometimes going clubbing is also what the media tags as being the most fun thing, and it can be, but you decide what feels wonderful and happily fun. The reason people also reflect back to their childhood as "the good ole days" is because that's when being the richest or prettiest doesn't count really, and when we were able to release ourselves and have true fun, feeling happy and confident.
  • Keep smiling all the time. It will help you feel more confident.
  • Say what comes to your mind; since your instinct thought of it, it's probably the right thing for you. Trusting your instinct will provide you with confidence to make the right decision at the right time.
  • Practice good posture. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. A simple habit that we can learn and implement is to stand and sit correctly. Your proper body posture will speak for you; how you stand sends out a message to the world, and in turn, back to you.
  • Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.
  • Write something on wikiHow! If you have a suggestion for anything, then share it. You will feel good for contributing, helping someone, and having your voice heard.
  • It is important that you take an oath every morning that you will do wonders today. Never think negative about yourself.
  • You can provide yourself with an extra measure of confidence by using the Best Me Technque of self-hypnosis to pre-experience the rewards of a long-term goal, thereby reducing or eliminating the need for "will power."
  • Self confidence is also about knowledge. Improve your knowledge on subjects which you feel are interesting.
  • Be true and honest to yourself. You will never be confident in yourself if you don't accept yourself and all the imperfections you may have because, although you may have imperfections, you have natural talents too. Also, you must accept the fact that you are not and never will be "perfect" but you are who you are. Finally, you may have high expectations for yourself but if you just work hard and play hard, that's all you can ask for.
  • If you spend a lot of time wondering or worrying what people think of you, try focusing on something else. Dwell on a book you just read, the state of the world today, Somali pirates... or just listen to music. You will feel better, develop your personality, and look much less awkward. If you happen to glance up and catch someone's eye, smile! Because you da bomb...


Warnings


  • Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can be a healthy contrast to your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
  • Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.
  • Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self confidence.
  • Do not try to become confident in the sole interest of finding a partner. You will regret creating a false personality as the relationship goes along.
  • It's good to have a lot of confidence, but don't build it up so much that you get egotistical and annoying.
  • Lack of confidence is not necessarily a curse! So do not worry. Many ignorant, fanatic and maniac people are confident but is that desirable? No. Building self confidence should be associated with simultaneous growth from within. Thus by overcoming pettiness and superficiality you can build unshakable self confidence [Cf: Conceptual Stress: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar].
  • Do not mistake being loud and cocky as confidence. Often this is just a way of somebody with lots of insecurities to cover it up, therefore not being confident at all. Confidence is being happy with yourself and not allowing what other people think of you to affect you, you should only care about what you think of yourself.
  • Don't get suckered into thinking ads like the one at the end of this wikiHow are a quick fix. No one can sell you a magic solution to make you self confident, you need to prove yourself to yourself.


Related wikiHows





Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Build Self Confidence. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license. [Build Self Confidence - wikiHow]

Posted by Wafaa at Monday, June 08, 2009

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)