He’s Like A Brother

[By Naiyerah Kolkailah]

“You’re just like a brother to me!” she’d often tell her Muslim college friend whom she’s grown close to over the years. She feels comfortable with confiding in him, trusting him, opening up to him – but she’s never thought of him as a husband. They hang out together during their breaks, she calls him whenever she needs to vent, and she loves how he’s never judgmental towards her. To him, she was a friend at first — but he soon discovered that he’d often feel a tinge of jealousy whenever she spoke nonchalantly and joked with other male classmates. It burned him inside, and he’d always try to pull her away casually without making his irritation apparent. Many times, he’d look at her with admiration, smiling and melting away with his dreams of what could be for them. He would never dare bring up marriage to her, though. How could he when she only viewed him as her brother?

So, would you call these two good friends? Brother and sister maybe? Boyfriend and girlfriend? As with many cases in the Muslim community, this is a confused pseudo-marriage framed under the guise of friendship or an innocent brotherly bond. As the two become lax in their interaction, their hearts naturally – albeit unintentionally – gravitate towards each other, their minds become occupied with each other, and one or both parties eventually develop feelings that either remain trapped or expressed and acted upon unlawfully. With their increasing closeness and intimacy, the special reserves of loyalty, emotional sentiments and halaal physical attraction may be exhausted before their rightful outlet in marriage. If they end up not getting married and search elsewhere for a partner, they may never be content because they can’t resist comparing potential spouses with their former “friend”. Even if they eventually marry someone else, they will always have a history, and sometimes Shaytan can push them to reconnect and rekindle that past relationship during marriage.

It is no wonder why our wise Creator `azza wa jall, who is well aware of our natures and inclinations, says in the Qur’an “…Nor of those who take (boy)friends…(4:25). With many commands and prohibitions in Islam, Allah has mercifully forbade the prerequisite acts that would lead to major sins. He is protecting us from Shaytan and from falling prey to our desires, which saves us the emotional distress and painful regret that often come as a consequence to disobedience.

It’s also no wonder why it is purer and more chaste for both men and women to lower their gaze when speaking to those of the opposite gender (24:30-31), and to focus only on the tasks necessitating their communication. Remember Musa (`alayhissalam ) with the two daughters of Shu`ayb? Their interaction and communicating was exuding hayaa’ and self-respect; Musa (as) never struck personal, unwarranted conversation with them and when one of the daughters informed Musa (as) that her father is inviting him to reward him for his assistance, she walked (and spoke) with utmost modesty and dignity.

One of the greatest manifestations of modesty and also a safeguard to indecent conduct is the Muslimah’s Islamic dress. Besides obeying Allah and the Messenger’s commands in wearing loose, non-transparent, non-perfumed clothing, the attire brings with it an entire set of behavioral traits that the Muslim woman finds befitting to uphold. She is no longer comfortable mingling with men, joking and laughing loudly with them – or behaving in any way that may ignite their desires. Her taqwa (God-consciousness) and hayaa’ with Allah become embodied in all her mannerisms – her body language, how she speaks and carries herself – and reminds her of amicably maintaining the boundaries that Allah and the Messenger (peace be upon him) would be pleased with.

There is a profound hadith of the Prophet (peace be upon him), which if practiced and truly believed in, can adorn our lives with blessings and many successes. It states: “There is nothing that you leave out of God-consciousness except that Allah will compensate you with something better” (Ahmad). We all long for acceptance and relationships that quell our loneliness and make us feel needed and loved. Perhaps if we devote our lives to increasing our love for Allah and gaining His love in return, He will bless us with halaal relationships that will be the greatest source of happiness, love, loyalty and compassion in this life and the better one to come.

["He’s Like A Brother". Muslimah Source.]

MAS Freedom Condemns Attack by Egyptian Riot Police on Viva Palestina Convoy

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful INVITE YOUR FRIENDS TO JOIN THE MAS FREEDOM E-LIST TODAY BY SHARING THIS MESSAGE WITH THEM AND INVITING THEM TO CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO SIGN UP! IT'S FREE! click here for the link MAS FREEDOM CONDEMNS ATTACK BY EGYPTIAN RIOT POLICE ON VIVA PALESTINA CONVOY TEAM MEMBERS Join the MAS Freedom 'Let Gaza Live' Campaign! WASHINGTON, DC (MASNET) Jan. 6, 2010 - In its ongoing support of calling for an end to the illegal siege of Gaza through its 'Let Gaza Live' campaign, MAS Freedom (MASF), as the civic and human rights advocacy entity of the Muslim American Society (MAS), condemns the January 5, 2009 attacks by Egyptian riot police against members of the Viva Palestina convoy, resulting in the arrests of seven and serious injuries to as many as ten of the first 157 convoy team members arriving at Port El-Arish, Egypt in route to fulfilling their mission of delivering over 200 truckloads of humanitarian aid to Gaza. (VIDEO) The incidents stemmed from a decision on the part of government officials in Egypt to impose yet another delay on the convoy's journey, insisting that more than 50 vehicles would remain behind. After traveling one month, thousands of miles, through ten countries, utilizing one ship and four flights, the news unsettled convoy team members who commenced a protest against yet another delay. The convoy, after traveling through Europe, Turkey, Syria, and Jordan, was forced to detour back to Syria after Egypt's initial refusal to grant permission for the convoy to proceed onward to Gaza, and later re-routed further west of the Mediterranean coast to before reaching El-Arish. The ongoing economic blockade of Gaza - enforced by both Israel and Egypt - continues to inflict devastating damage to the food, water, sanitation, and electrical infrastructure needed to provide life sustaining support for more than 1.4 million people in the Palestinians territory. As one of the 86 delegates allowed to enter Gaza from Dec. 29, 2009 -Jan. 2, 2010, Aishah Schwartz traveled from Cairo, Egypt through the Rafah border to participate in activities recognizing the devastation produced in the Dec. 27, 2008 - Jan. 18, 2009 assault on the Gaza Strip, code-named Operation Cast Lead, resulting in the deaths of 1,419 Palestinians, including 326 children and 111 women. Among the countless realities striking Schwartz during her visit to Gaza was learning that, despite promises of reconstructive assistance and financial aid to the territory, generators were still being used in large areas to produce electrical power, four days out of seven - every week - for the past four years. "There is an element of U.S. collusion with this illegal blockade of the civilian population of Gaza since Israel and Egypt are the largest and second largest recipients of U.S. foreign aid, respectively, and this money, from U.S. taxpayers, directly provides armaments and technology used by Israel and Egypt to enforce the economic strangulation of Gaza," stated MAS Freedom Executive Director, Mahdi Bray. The United States military is also reportedly supplying the Egyptian government with technology being used to construct a massive security fence designed to further cut-off the Gaza Strip from access to supplies from the Egyptian side of the border. Bray added, "It is high time for American religious leaders, and all people of conscience, to step up the pressure on Congress and the President, to compel both Israel and Egypt to allow humanitarian aid to flow unimpeded into Gaza. In the course of an average month no less than 10,000 truckloads of supplies are required to sustain the region, yet, on average, only 2,000 are reaching the Palestinian people. In the 21st Century, no human being should be allowed to suffer from this type of immoral and illegal economic strangulation." HERE'S HOW YOU CAN HELP! · Join the MAS Freedom Let Gaza Live Campaign! MAS Freedom is mobilizing people to mail hundreds of thousands of 'Let Gaza Live' postcards to President Obama and members of Congress, calling on the U.S. government to pressure both Israel and Egypt - the two largest recipients of U.S. foreign assistance, respectively - to immediately end the cruel and illegal economic strangulation of Gaza. Call MAS Freedom at (703)-642-6165, or reach us by email at: info@masfreedom.org to request 'Let Gaza Live' postcards that will be sent to you at no cost. · Tell your friends, family, and community members about MAS Freedom's 'Let Gaza Live' Campaign, and ask them to send their email addresses and contact information to MAS Freedom so they can join the campaign. If everyone would tell only ten other people about the 'Let Gaza Live' postcard mailing campaign, together we can build a huge movement in support of the human rights of 1.4 million Gazan's, and all the people of Palestine. · Finally, send your generous contributions to: MAS Freedom, 1326 G Street NW, Suite 500, Washington, DC 20001. Your financial support will help us distribute even more 'Let Gaza Live' postcards and build the pressure required to permanently lift the blockade. Earlier today the Viva Palestina convoy, including eight buses, was finally allowed to pass across the border of Egypt through the Rafah crossing. For additional inquiries can be made by contacting MAS Freedom at (202) 552-7414, (703) 642-6165 or 1-888-627-8471 or sending an email to: info @ masfreedom.org. RELATED 23 Days of War, 928 Days of Closure VIDEO: Viva Palestina Report from El-Arish Tracking the Viva Palestina Journey ------------------------------------------------------------- MAS Freedom (MASF) is a civic and human rights advocacy entity and sister organization of the Muslim American Society (MAS), the largest Muslim, grassroots, charitable, religious, social, cultural, civic and educational organization in America - with 55 chapters in 35 states. ------------------------------------------------------------- MAS Freedom 1325 G Street NW, Suite 500 Washington DC 20005 Phone: (202) 552-7414 or (703) 642-6165 Toll Free: 1-(888)-627-8471 Fax: (757) 299-9961 MASF on the Web Contact MASF by Email TO DONATE CLICK HERE

A Woman's Reflection on Leading Prayer

"Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I’m not--and in all honesty--don’t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness."

On March 18, 2005 Amina Wadud led the first female-led Jumuah (Friday) prayer. On that day women took a huge step towards being more like men. But, did we come closer to actualizing our God-given liberation? I don’t think so!

What we so often forget is that God has honored the woman by giving her value in relation to God — not in relation to men. But as western feminism erases God from the scene, there is no standard left — but men. As a result the western feminist is forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing she has accepted a faulty assumption. She has accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man — the standard.

When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the “standard” had it.

What she didn’t recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness--not their sameness. And on March 18, Muslim women made the very same mistake.

For 1400 years there has been a consensus of the scholars that men are to lead prayer. As a Muslim woman, why does this matter? The one who leads prayer is not spiritually superior in any way. Something is not better just because a man does it. And leading prayer is not better, just because it’s leading. Had it been the role of women or had it been more divine, why wouldn’t the Prophet have asked Ayesha (ra) or Khadija (ra), or Fatima (ra) — the greatest women of all time — to lead? These women were promised heaven — and yet they never lead prayer.

But now for the first time in 1400 years, we look at a man leading prayer and we think, “That’s not fair.” We think so although God has given no special privilege to the one who leads. The imam is no higher in the eyes of God than the one who prays behind.

On the other hand, only a woman can be a mother. And God has given special privilege to a mother. The Prophet taught us that heaven lies at the feet of mothers. But no matter what a man does he can never be a mother. So why is that not unfair?

When asked who is most deserving of our kind treatment? The Prophet replied ‘ your mother ’ three times before saying ‘ your father ’ only once. Isn’t that sexist? No matter what a man does he will never be able to have the status of a mother.

And yet even when God honors us with something uniquely feminine, we are too busy trying to find our worth in reference to men, to value it — or even notice. We too have accepted men as the standard; so anything uniquely feminine is, by definition, inferior. Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a mother — a degradation. In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and self-less compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigns supreme.

As soon as we accept that everything a man has and does is better, all that follows is just a knee jerk reaction: if men have it—we want it too. If men pray in the front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in the front rows too. If men lead prayer, we assume the imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too. Somewhere along the line we’ve accepted the notion that having a position of worldly leadership is some indication of one’s position with God.

A Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God as a standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn’t need a man. In fact, in our crusade to follow men, we, as women, never even stopped to examine the possibility that what we have is better for us. In some cases we even gave up what was higher only to be like men.

Fifty years ago, society told us that men were superior because they left the home to work in factories. We were mothers. And yet, we were told that it was women’s liberation to abandon the raising of another human being in order to work on a machine. We accepted that working in a factory was superior to raising the foundation of society — just because a man did it.

Then after working, we were expected to be superhuman—the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker—and have the perfect career. And while there is nothing wrong, by definition, with a woman having a career, we soon came to realize what we had sacrificed by blindly mimicking men. We watched as our children became strangers and soon recognized the privilege we’d given up.

And so only now — given the choice — women in the West are choosing to stay home to raise their children. According to the United States Department of Agriculture, only 31 percent of mothers with babies, and 18 percent of mothers with two or more children, are working full-time. And of those working mothers, a survey conducted by Parenting Magazine in 2000, found that 93% of them say they would rather be home with their kids, but are compelled to work due to 'financial obligations'. These ‘obligations’ are imposed on women by the gender sameness of the modern West, and removed from women by the gender distinctiveness of Islam.

It took women in the West almost a century of experimentation to realize a privilege given to Muslim women 1400 years ago.

Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I’m not--and in all honesty--don’t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness.

If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet — I choose heaven.
[by Yasmin Mogahed - Friday 25, March 2005. Media Monitors Network (MMN)]

"From Dusk 'Til Dawn"

MAS-IE

Presents

"From Dusk 'Til Dawn"

3rd Annual New Years Eve Program

A MAS Youth Revive Event

With Guest Speaker Br. Munir Qtaish

An All Night Event with Various Activities:

Prayers

Lectures

Sports Activities

Plays

Games

Much more....

Refreshments and Breakfast will be provided

Thursday December 31st 2009

From 8:00 to 6:00 am (Friday) 2010

MAS Center

8423 Rochester Ave.

Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91730

For more information log onto www.mas-ie.com or call 951-440-5270

Kind Treatment

'A'isha(rAa) reported:

"A poor woman came to me along with her daughters. I gave her three dates. She gave a date to each of them and then she took up one date and brought that to her mouth in order to eat that, but her daughters expressed desire to eat it. She then divided the date that she intended to eat between them. This (kind) treatment of her impressed me and I mentioned that which she did to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). Thereupon he said: Verily Allah has assured Paradise for her, because of (this act) of her, or He has rescued her from Hell-Fire."

[Sahih Muslim- Book 032, Chapter 44: The merit of according benevolent treatment to daughters, Number 6363.]